Tag: lightbeer

Bud Select 55

Bud Select 55
Bud’s Select 55

Now, as you know i’ve long been searching for the crappiest beer known to mankind, because i have yet to find a beer which cannot be made into a tasty pint by adding a few ounces of Yuengling’s Black & Tan. I exhausted all the regular bland dribblers sold around here: the ones which come in a 30-pack for $13. Severe lightbulb moment, when i realized that light beers are, as a species, entirely crappier than cheap regular beers!

So the anti-quest continues. This time, it’s Budweiser’s “Select 55” light beer, named after the number of calories in a can. Most light beers have about 100 calories per 12 ounces, including Michelob’s Ultra, which you would assume they mean ultra-low-cal, but instead they mean it’s ultra yummy for a light beer… naturally that’s both a paradox and an oxymoron at the same time.

This here ultra-light is the lightest of the lightest, 55 calories is the lowest i’ve seen. That’s the kind of technology which a vast brewery-industrial complex can buy. Miller has a 64-cal one, but i have yet to gamble on it. And in the end, no matter how crappy this one is, it follows the other crappy sheep and is easily made tame and tasty by mixing in some Black & Tan.

So mission accomplished there, but what is Bud 55 Select like on it’s own? I took the plunge into icy waters so you don’t need to. Surprisingly, it nearly tastes like beer. Moreso than the Mich Ult, this one has a faint shadow of malted grain, even if it is rice. No hop character to speak of, but we already know it’s cheap, 67¢ a can. It’s thin, it’s watery, they don’t say but we know it’s low-alk, and it’s slightly carbonated. Sort of like a fizzy wet rice cake.

With YB&T mixed in, it’s fine as a base, and that’s the real shocker. I don’t believe a beer exists which can’t be juiced into semi-yum by Yuengling’s dark influence. But on its own, Bud 55 is only a situation beer, like when you head over to a buddy’s house for a bbq and his wife has decided that he needs to lose a few so she’s stocked the house with Bud Select 55. You have to tell her that it’s fine. In your mind, though, this beer rates a 1.6 flat.

Labatt Blue Light Lime

Labatt's Blue Light Lime
Labatt’s Blue Light Lime

Well it’s not beer. Anyone who calls this “beer” needs to be reminded that this is an alcoholish ade, not a beer. As a beer, this would be an abomination unto my sight. Fruit does not belong in beer. Sometimes hops can lend fruitish flavors to a beer, but those are hops, not fruits. So that’s where this drink stands.

But as a summery drink, it’s got its place. 4% alk and i don’t believe this is fermented like a beer, i think it’s some water with lime flavors added, then they toss in some carbonation and a touch of grain spirits. If you like the flavor of lime, you might like this. It’s like Sprite with alcohol.

On the chance i’m wrong and there is some kind of grain, rice perhaps, which is being fermented to make this stuff, then i owe it a review. As a beer it’s abhorrent and a 0.2 seems generous. But as a fizzy punchy lime-ade, then we’re talking about a 115-calorie drink with a zippy lime talent and reasonably respectable 4% alk content. Not too bad as an ade, it gets a 6.6.