Beers – Page 5 – What I Learned Tomorrow

Red Hook Long Hammer IPA

A dry-hopped IPA from the Westernlands, says so right on the bottle, where it also says that they make this stuff in Memphis Tennessee, which is not even on the West Coast of the Mississippi River. At any rate, they also make it (or have it made for them) in Washington State and Portland Oregon, so that’s more towards the West Coast.

“Dry hopped” means they use hops when making the wort, but then use dry hops after it’s finished brewing to get some fresh vegetable influences in there. Not certain, but i suspect that’s what people mean when they say “West Coast style IPA.”

The color on this one is quite pale, the effervescence light, the aroma in and out of the bottle is like the label says: piney and citrusy. 6.2% alk completes the particulars, now how does it taste? Pretty light, that’s how. The beer body is not very aggressive in the whole taste, it’s barely there behind two hop flavors: the sharp pine late-taste and tongue-tip bitter orange.

Not a terrible beer at all, but it seems like what Red Hook is trying to do… someone else figured it out better since then. I prefer heavy body, and a sweeter body brings out weird fruits from the hops. This one doesn’t have enough body to begin, let alone be sweet. On the other side of the equation, the hops are strong but without a body to cradle them, they’re just out there, bittering in the wind.

Tasty but there are betterments to be had at this price point. Rating 5.4 for being hoppy but not show-stoppy.

Victory Hop Devil IPA

The devil on the label doesn’t look all that menacing, but then again this is a Pennsylvania beer and there’s no reason to go scaring the Amish neighbors needlessly. Not a very pale ale, in fact orangey and well on the way to amber. Light head, good bubblys streaming upwards, and a decent piney noseful of aroma. But the proof is in the taste, and this 6.7% alk IPA is crammed with hops and then finished with hops and let the devil take the hindmost.

No IBU number on the bottle, but wow is this little green demon hoppy. The color suggests that the beer body should be solid, but i really can’t tell much about it, under the shadow of an Erebus of Hops. A fairly strong beer, but should be refreshing enough for a weekend on the shores of a burning lake, even if that weekend lasts a thousand years.

Hats off to Victory Brewing, they’ve entered a fast horse in the Hoppier Than Thou Steeplechase. A heavy beer, which i like for the weight even though i can’t really get much of a taste of the malt side of the equation. So not a Summer drink, but at least they didn’t whimp out. If you’re going to call it Hop Devil, then you better make damned sure you get that side of the equation right.

Lacks the balance that makes my favorite IPA’s excel, but they did what the label says they tried to do. Wow, that’s some hops there, Mr. Scratch. Without that balance the rating will suffer, but if you’re a fan of that Steeplechase, then try this one out. My call is a rating of 7.3 because i like the mouthweight and i do, in fact, love all that hoppiness.

Genesee Oktoberfest

Genny has always done the Bock once a year, and it’s the best thing they do. Now suddenly, in 2016 they apparently decided to leverage that success with another annual varietal, an Oktoberfest beer, which started showing up in stores in late July. A festy design with a white-blue checked pattern of lozenges, with a half-gone German guy hoisting a stein over the logo.

And this beer has the G-Bock’s same subtitle: “Special Edition” at the bottom, but the similarity ends there. Color is paler than Bock but darker than the other Gennys. Does taste a little heartier than a regular Genesee, but there’s no relation here to any German beer. Instead, this is beer candy.

Silly sweet it is, nearly to the point of being sickly-sweet, which is the same reason i can’t do more than 1 in a row of Genny’s sub-branded JW Dundee Honey Brown. After one Honey Brown, you feel like you’ve just eaten a whole head-sized wad of cotton candy, and while that was enjoyable, the idea of eating a second head-sized wad of cotton candy makes you a tad queasy.

Same thing here. The sweetness might come from unfermented malts or, since this is $9 for a 12-pack, they might just have dropped some hi-fuct corn syrup and dye into a few runs of finished Genny. Who knows? Genny’s beers have always been low-information on the cans and cartons.

The point is that where a German oktoberfest brew has a bite of bitter over a slightly more sweet body than usual, this has sweet body smothering a slight more bitter than a real Genny. College girls may like this, but it’s not for me. Accordingly, the proper rating is 3.6 in my scheme.

Three Heads The Kind IPA

Bringing joy to the world one sip at a time, that’s the slogan, and the ohmm-krishna-ohmmm hippie on the label is just the guy to do it. A microbrew which only recently earned enough money to get a little more macro, Three Heads was having their beers made by CB Craftbrewers (again, again, redundant) but the 3 guys just opened up their own little shop. Cheers to them, and here’s my first taste of their efforts.

The Kind is a rampant 76 IBU’s in a 6.8% alk beer, not much more info on the label or carton. But first things first. Apparently, 3H’s new brewery employs a Titan, who seals the bottle caps with such vigor that only the gods may open them. I managed, with difficulty, and now feel like Prometheus, having stolen beer from Olympus.

You can smell and taste all Seventy Six of those International Bitterness Units, and the fermentation was thorough enough to leave no sweetness behind in the beer. What you do get is a creamy frothy feel in the mouth, no i’m not reviewing a porno here, and a healthy, very hale, back-of-mouth bitterness which really satisfies on an August day.

No idea which hop varietals they used, but it was done well. The hops are hard and heavy, but the body of the beer is solid enough to carry them. A very pale color to the pint, so they didn’t go all caramelly to bear the hops over the mountain, and like i said, there’s no sweetness to this, so the fermentation was run to the bitter end. Which, in an IPA, means the yummy end.

At 6.8% alcohol, can’t call this a Summer beer, their jilted buddies at CB still hold that title with the masterpiece Bonobo Session IPA. But this is finely brewed and massively hopped. No qualms about giving this an 8.2 rating. They also make a double IPA, called “Too Kind”, and now i’m eager to try that too. Oh, and there’s even a third one, “Tres Kind” which is a triple IPA, ooof. Stay tuned for that here someday.

Troegs Perpetual IPA

A happy acccident that the local grocer advertised all Ballast Point beers at $7.99 per six on the weekly flyer, but in-store they’re all priced at $13.99, which is a little different. I think that’s not simply a not-sale, but an actual anti-sale, a surcharge for this week only. So they can go screw a sculpin. But the Troegs stuff is on sale for $10 per 6, which is indeed a healthy discount.

This and the Troegs’es Double Bock “Troegenator” are the ones i’ve wanted to try, but the price always put me off. Now this is an IPA, we can tell that by the 85 IBU’s, and the 6 (count ’em) six hop varieties listed on the carton. But with a nod to linguistic sanity, they don’t call it an India Pale Ale, but an Imperial P.A. The “Perpetual” part is their continuous hopping tank which shoulders more hops in between the hops which are already there.

The taste tells it, this has got the hops like a steroidal rabbit with a fox’s nose in its ass. Wow, has this got the hops. Arby’s has the meats, and this has the hops. Me kine like, brah.

It’s pale as all get-out, the carton calls it “straw” but the normal price of Troegs beers would lead you to think “gold” in more than one way. On sale, however, this is a keystone purchase for anyone wishing to complete their hop-u-cation. Like i said, the color is pale like a princess of Winterfell, but somehow the body is solid beer. No idea how they did that. Very clear ale, continuous effervescing going on, but it’s got a hearty lip-smacking beer taste to it, underneath that full kevlar jacket of hops.

A little sweet, a little sour, a lotta bitter and very drinkable, despite the somber weight of 7.5% alcohol. The carbonation makes all the difference on the drinkability meter for this brewery product. Kicks a few different asses, but will still have to deduct some tenths from the rating, because 7.5% alk means it’s not a kickin’ back beer, it’s something where you have to keep an eye on yourself.

From the high price of Troegs beers, suspected this might be good, and that turns out true. Their 12-packs are well over the $20 range so this is not something we can afford to quaff until the end of the world, but will definitely be back to that grocer before week’s end to pick up six handheld beverage dispensers of that coveted Troegenator.

This Perpetual IPA rates a non-skeptical 8.7 and would be higher but after one of my 18-oz glassfuls, i can feel a little swimmy in the nodder, with another four beers still unopened. Yipes, pace yourself, young lad, pace it out! At this point, i might even screw a sculpin, and that’s not healthy thoughts.

Michelob Ultra

A light beer so expect a light taste… and a light score here. But it is one of the few light beers which is drinkable on its own, without spiking it with a few oz of black-n-tan or a stout. And “light” is almost an understatement here, the color is so pale yellow that one might check to make sure one has not already drank it once already, and eww on that.

Reminds me of a fizzy powder, which they prolly don’t even sell in the candy aisle anymore these days, i don’t go down that aisle lately. It’s got carbonation, and there’s something that tastes like beer, but it isn’t really beer. Come to mention it, looks like the once-proud brand “Michelob” is only a light beer anymore. There used to be Michelob, and even a Mich Dark which was the best domestic beer in the pre-Sam Adams days. Then again, back in those days, even Bud still used barley instead of rice.

No idea what Mich Ultra uses, but they don’t use a lot of it. Only 95 calories per beer, with a measly 2.6 grams of carbohydrates, so clearly (as clear as this beer), there’s barely any fermentation going on. Still manages to be a respectable 4.2% alk, and that is a complete mystery to me. Must be magic of some kind. Well, the industrial beverage type of magic, which is just below throwing salt over your shoulder on the magic spectrum.

Michelob Ultra - blue can — Michelob’s Ultra light beer, the other can style

So it’s not real beer, and it’s not good beer, but it does fill its purpose, and i’ll tell you why that matters. A report came out in July of 2016, a roundup of results for testing several craft beers for nutrition. And the calorie counts were startling. One result, from a crafty “double imperial chocolate stout” was a threatening 320 calories per 12-oz bottle. Oooof, a real shot to the gut.

Duh, a double stout is going to be sky high. It’s like pretending to be shocked that a choco-chip chocolate muffin with a rock sugar top drizzled by caramel sauce has as many calories as a Wendy’s triple cheeseburger. Duh, d00d. But the roundup of the rest was also enlightening. Real beer, it seems, is really heavy on the cals, in lock-step with being heavy on the yum taste.

So if you don’t want to be carrying last night’s sixpack around on top of your personal sixpack for a full week, you gotta pace your intakes. For regular drinking while vegging to the netflix, you just can’t do it imperial style. And that’s why something like Mich Ultra is useful. Personally, in a pint glass i’ll put 12 oz of this and a few oz of Yeungling Black & Tan to juice the taste.

The point is, with most light beers you HAVE to add something to make it drinkable. With this, you don’t. It’s not very good beer, but it’s not horrifying either. Rating, on its own: 2.8 but when juiced-up to make a blend which is tasty, the usefulness of Mich Ultra is far higher than a 2.8 rating would suggest.

Ballantine IPA

According to the label, the oldest IPA in America. Hmmm, if they say so, then OK. I knew it as Ballantine Ale, and suspect that when IPA’s got stupid popular, they changed the label to reflect the same ale they’ve always been making, just so people know that it’s really an IPA. Maybe. At any rate, this is my first foray into a Minnesotan IPA, from Cold Springs and honestly, if you’re in Minnesota then is there actually any other type of springs? I think they’re all cold.

At any rate, a nice amber color and good floral/snappy noseful of aroma. The darker-than-pale color bodes well for me, since i pick a hearty IPL over an IPA most days. With a sip, sure enough, this has got an excellent meaty body and the hops are pretty good too. Label says it’s got 70 IBU’s, so there’s that in the bottle, and a nearly-beware 7.2% alk, whoot.

I remember Ballantine from the 70’s and 80’s, usually seen in a quart bottle, but haven’t seen it for years. Tried it once back then, but don’t remember anything other than it was expensive, at least compared to Stroh’s and Bud. But heck, today most drinkable beers make Heineken and Corona look like cheapies, and they are! Never thought the day would come when Heinies are the bargain beer. Brave new world.

The taste here is darn good, a grain of salt because i’m pretty thirsty today and this is my first beer of the evening. Mmmm, can really taste the malts in this one, even though they’re swimming in a blasting 70 IBU pool. But it’s the deep end of a real pool, no kiddy pool here. There are finer IPA’s out there, this one has a slight gritty feel to the mouth, but still an excellent beer.

I don’t recall Ballantine being this hoppy from years back, perhaps they’ve redone the recipe to account for modern mania? As it comes out of the bottle now, have to give it an upstanding 8.4 rating. Very hopped and the heaviness that i like in a not-so pale ale. Yum.

Saranac Brewer’s Blood Imperial Amber Ale

Here’s a neat one: an “imperial amber ale” with a hefty 90 IBU’s and a stiff 8.7% alcohol. Judging by the price and the packaging, this is the flagship of Saranac’s rebranding, but it’s made in Windsor Vermont, not in Utica, New York. Not sure which empire declares this stuff “imperial”, but it sure ain’t the Empire State.

So what we have is a great recipe that some crafty brewers came up with, and it must involve some high-end ingredients to command a luxury-good price. It certainly tastes like they used good stuff. The color is definitely amber, maybe even darker than a regular amber ale, and the smell is a fairly complex melange of hops and malts.

Nice intriguing body to this beer, and the hops are well done, though this one has a problem that you do see in high-alk brews sometimes: the taste of the alcohol itself raises it’s hand to be counted. Unfortunately, that detracts from the overall taste. Looking for a beer here, not a beer-flavored liqueur.

Malts are nice and meaty, they hopped the heck out of it, so it should be right up my alley. And it is good, but the strength is just a little shy of whiskey-face, and that’s not for me. Hate to do it, because someone poured a lot of sweat and tears into this bottle, but tallying all the pluses and minuses here leaves it with a 7.2 rating, low for a beer of this quality.

I don’t want to turn anyone off from trying this, i found it in the “pick your own six” section, where for $11 you can try 6 beers where you’d normally have to spend $70 to try ’em all. If you can find a single of this, try it. You may like it, well, in fact i’m sure you’ll like it, but try it and decide from there if it’s something you’ll spend the premium price on, for a full six or twelve.

Sierra Nevada 11.5 Plato IPA

Another “session” IPA and now i’m so proud of myself for knowing what that means! Now that i know it’s designed for drinking at work, i think i need a new job. On the other hand this one introduces a new and mysterious beerword term: 11.5º PLATO. They try to describe it as “how big the beer will be”, but i got 12 ounces, so i figger i’m beating 11.5 plato’s already, and i don’t even know what a plato is. Hah, so there!

No, i’m not as dumb as all that. What they call “bigness” is what i call the “body” of a beer, the sturdiness of the malted beverage indicates how much hoppiness they can cram in there before it starts to separate. Or congeal, or, whatever a beer does when it can’t hold its hops.

True to be called a Session IPA, this is spot on the nose at 4.5% alk, so SN is just squeaking by under the limbo bar here. I like cushions, so i would’ve made it 4.4%, but hey, they do what they want, they have the vats and the permits and licenses.

The color is a nice gold, dark gold, not “straw” but not into amberland. And the body does indeed bear the welts from beating some hearty malts into submission. Great solidity, you can feel it in the mouth and taste it under the hops as well. I like that they were able to do this at 4.5% alcohol and still find room for serious hoppys.

The aroma is a bit reminiscent of a wet dog who’s been rolling in something that was not purely mud, not trying to be insulting here, but it’s a tad like rodent droppings. Luckily, none of that aroma carries over into the taste. The taste is really very excellent. This one’s not going to shake up my Top Five IPA’s, but i do like it very much.

What SN was trying to do here, they pulled off in spades. It’s a low-alk IPA with great body and crafty attention to hops, somehow they knew just how much hops they could plug in here, and they did. It must be that Plato guy who told them. Taste is refreshing, yes, all those flowery words like “tropical ” they use on the label come through. This hop profile is a little less piney and more fruity, less citrusy and more plummy. Nectariney?

A great Summer beer, i’ll put this right behind the Bonobo in 2nd place for a Summer beer. Most of all, i am really impressed by what SN did here. The nose is awful, but the taste is supreme. I have to give this a 7.3 for a body that holds up but is lighter than what my belly craves, and hops that are finely done but lighter than what my tongue loves.

If you are looking for a Summer beer and can’t get the Bonobo where you live, then try for this 11.5º Plato, it should have a wider distribution than Bonobo.

Sam Adams 48º Latitude IPA

Sam Adams 48 Latitude IPA — Sam Adams’s 48º Latitude IPA

Criminy, Sam. It’s tough to stay mad at you. Don’t get giddy, i’m still pissed about that Grapefruit IPA, and your beers and ales are still on my blacklist until you publicly apologize for it. Except this one, because it’s still one of the Top Five IPA’s. The odd name comes from Sam’s theory that the world’s best hops grow at the 48º North Latitude parallel. So they went from Washington State to SE England to Bavaria, collecting cones, brought them back to Boston, and tossed them around in the test kitchen.

The result is stunning. I mean, this is pretty much the company that invented the craft beer movement, and they’re right out there as far as unselfishly supporting microbrews and folks who are resisting the pressure to sell out to a major commercial crap-beer factory. I’m looking at you, Blue Moon. So Boston Brewing knows what the heck they’re doing in making real beer, and this one is a testament to experience.

Much darker than a pale ale, so obviously the body of this beer is quite capable of floating whatever hops they throw at it, and the blend of shrubberies in this one are excellent. At 6.0% alk it’s not too scary and not too flippant, but i think i’ll go on some more about the skill that made this beer.

The choice of malts was expert, looking ahead to what they intended to do with it, which was to hop it up to the ceiling. It’s almost like the beer underneath the hops was designed explicitly for this purpose, and i’m sure it was. The hops not only go hand-in-hand with the malt, but it’s uncanny, it’s like the blueprint included a hole in the wort where a precisely carved puzzle piece of hops would exactly fit. It does.

At 9.1 my rating places this in the fifth slot of my Top Five IPA’s, it might have been higher if SA had not made that Grapefruit IPA, and it may move higher into the mid-nines if Sam does the right thing and apologizes for Grapefruit IPA. But this is still in the Top 5, although it’s a precarious place as #5 means it would be the first to fall if another stellar IPA comes to light.