Michelob Ultra

Michelob Ultra-white can
Michelob’s Ultra light beer

A light beer so expect a light taste… and a light score here. But it is one of the few light beers which is drinkable on its own, without spiking it with a few oz of black-n-tan or a stout. And “light” is almost an understatement here, the color is so pale yellow that one might check to make sure one has not already drank it once already, and eww on that.

Reminds me of a fizzy powder, which they prolly don’t even sell in the candy aisle anymore these days, i don’t go down that aisle lately. It’s got carbonation, and there’s something that tastes like beer, but it isn’t really beer. Come to mention it, looks like the once-proud brand “Michelob” is only a light beer anymore. There used to be Michelob, and even a Mich Dark which was the best domestic beer in the pre-Sam Adams days. Then again, back in those days, even Bud still used barley instead of rice.

No idea what Mich Ultra uses, but they don’t use a lot of it. Only 95 calories per beer, with a measly 2.6 grams of carbohydrates, so clearly (as clear as this beer), there’s barely any fermentation going on. Still manages to be a respectable 4.2% alk, and that is a complete mystery to me. Must be magic of some kind. Well, the industrial beverage type of magic, which is just below throwing salt over your shoulder on the magic spectrum.

Michelob Ultra - blue can
Michelob’s Ultra light beer, the other can style

So it’s not real beer, and it’s not good beer, but it does fill its purpose, and i’ll tell you why that matters. A report came out in July of 2016, a roundup of results for testing several craft beers for nutrition. And the calorie counts were startling. One result, from a crafty “double imperial chocolate stout” was a threatening 320 calories per 12-oz bottle. Oooof, a real shot to the gut.

Duh, a double stout is going to be sky high. It’s like pretending to be shocked that a choco-chip chocolate muffin with a rock sugar top drizzled by caramel sauce has as many calories as a Wendy’s triple cheeseburger. Duh, d00d. But the roundup of the rest was also enlightening. Real beer, it seems, is really heavy on the cals, in lock-step with being heavy on the yum taste.

So if you don’t want to be carrying last night’s sixpack around on top of your personal sixpack for a full week, you gotta pace your intakes. For regular drinking while vegging to the netflix, you just can’t do it imperial style. And that’s why something like Mich Ultra is useful. Personally, in a pint glass i’ll put 12 oz of this and a few oz of Yeungling Black & Tan to juice the taste.

The point is, with most light beers you HAVE to add something to make it drinkable. With this, you don’t. It’s not very good beer, but it’s not horrifying either. Rating, on its own: 2.8 but when juiced-up to make a blend which is tasty, the usefulness of Mich Ultra is far higher than a 2.8 rating would suggest.

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